...and sometimes sitting with long deep nights, I peek inside myself and find something so much sad, depressed and dejected. Something that feels more than an ache, hurts more than a pain and dies more than just once.
I've never found the reasons behind it but there's something that makes me upset and the worst part is you can never resolve such sadness, you can never fill up such hollowness. That's why it again comes to us, not daily but with regular updates and I'm still trying to sort out this issue even when I don't know the reasons behind it. May be Is it because "I've never been good with my grades" or because "I still didn't move on with people's departures" or because "I regret for not being enough for anyone" or because "I feel useless for not being able to fulfill anyone's expectations."
And like all other days, I'm not sure for which reason I've to mark to. There's something else that I've built and locked inside, and forget about the keys that can unlock it.
I live and suffer through it, I feel and can never explain, I smile and never let anyone know. With every passing day, it feels a lot more every time. I'm used to it but still waiting for it to end, I sit alone, feel empty and then just let myself lose. Losing through the battles that I fight against myself, battles that never ends and you always lose a bit of yourself, after every night, after every battle.
Sometimes sitting with such long deep nights, I peek inside myself and find someone who's too hard to understand, too complex to solve and too sad to smile.
LONG-LETTER | | 😃😃
